Think about it. The holidays are over, things have quieted down, the in-laws have left. This can mean only one thing:
YOUR LIVING ROOM IS LONELY.
The very thought of it makes me sad. I grew up in homes with living rooms, I have a lot of great childhood memories involving living rooms and have an emotional, empathetic, some might say “psychic” connection with living rooms.
It’s true. I am The Living Room Whisperer.
I can help ease your living room’s pain. The therapy I offer is called “The House Concert” and here’s how it works:
- You find an evening on the calendar that’s free for both you and your living room. Therapy seems to work best on Saturday nights, but some living rooms have special needs - I’m flexible, however I can best help is the path I take.
- You invite 30 or so of your living room’s friends to drop by (there’s no upper limit on the number, just make your living room feel filled with usefulness, but not overburdened). You can also invite people your living room hasn’t met yet - it will help instill a sense of excitement that aids in the healing process.
- I come to meet with your living room before its friends arrive. This gives me time to bond with your living room and figure out the best way to alleviate its suffering. I may set up a small PA to help transmit “positive vibrations” into the space.
- Folks arrive. Conversation fills your living room. It listens in as people reconnect or meet for the very first time. Your living room begins to feel a sense of purpose, its spirits lift.
- Everyone settles in and I begin the first “Music Dispersement” portion of the therapy. This lasts approximately 45 minutes and may also include funny anecdotes. Your living room’s friends periodically clap or laugh, in a display meant to make your living room feel appreciated and, dare I say, loved.
- There’s a short intermission. During that time, people enjoy light refreshments. You can prepare these, or have your living room’s friends bring them along - your living room will be cool with it either way.
- A second “Music Dispersement” treatment is then applied. This follows the same general guidelines as the first, but may have a looser, more spontaneous feel as I step it up a notch to make your living room feel relaxed and joyous.
- The evening ends with me talking to people, signing CDs, posing for pictures and generally bringing your living room a sense of what we in the therapeutic field call “closure”.
By the end of the evening, you will have enjoyed an evening of great music without causing your living room separation anxiety. Your living room’s friends will look at your living room in a new and wonderful way, raising its self-esteem and you will have memories that you will see whenever you enter your living room from then on.
I’ve been doing House Concert Therapy for years and I can tell you - it works.
You can choose to pay for it yourself, or ask your living room’s friends to pitch in. They love your living room and a good night out - they’ll be happy to help.
Sound good? If so, contact Jack Leitenberg at firstname.lastname@example.org and let him know what date you have in mind.
I hope to use my gift of healing to help as many lonely living rooms in 2010 as I can. Help me help you(r living room).